I've found someone.....

I finally found someone who is so sweet, honest and good to me. We started out as friends and it turned into more. He is so good to me I don't know how to act. I'm not use to a gentle man who listens to what I have to say and cares about me only. It's not all about money, power over me or kicking me when I'm down. He just wants me and me only. I really think this is true love the way it is suppose to be. It only comes once in a life time and I think this is it.

Another Day

Woke up this morning feeling better then I have felt in a long time. Each day does get a little easier without him. I still have moments where I find myself needing him. But it is very few. Day by day I think I grow stronger and stronger. Now if I can make a plan for starting over alone. Where do I want to go with my life? What do I do next? An will I be alone forever? That's the question that run through my mind each day. I just need to come up with a plan for my life and how I want it to turn out.

Another bad day....

I had a really bad day yesterday. My Depression is out of control again, it is a battle everyday to function normally. People really don't understand how hard it is to control. Going thru a divorce ( my first) is the hardest thing to deal with we were married for 15 yrs. It's really hard to let go of someone you love. I have to start a whole new life and really don't know where to begin.

Early this morning

It's 5:42 a.m. I can't sleep again. I keep wondering where my life is going. I've started dating again. I'm still friends with my Ex husband. Which no one understands why. I don't want to hate him , where is it written when you divorce one another you have to hate each other forever. We had a good life at one time and a lot of good memories. I don't want to forget those times. I believe if you focus on the bad things then you can carry them over into your next relationship. So why do it. I know their is someone out there who will love me for who I am.

My new Life

My new life without my husband is harder then I thought it would be. Starting over is never easy to do. Your lonely all the time, you long for your husband and the life you once had. I keep thinking all the time How do I start over without him. When you love someone so much and they don't love you back it's still hard to move on.

 

Tragedies of a WAR!

My Husband came home in August from Afghanistan, for 2 days everything was great. Then the tragedy, He took me to my parents to spend the night and the next day I called him to come get me. His word were like a knife cutting my heart " I'm not coming to get you". When I asked why he said " I don't love you anymore". All I could think was what happen. He has PTSD now and I guess thats what happen when you come home from a war. I been so lost ever since then. How can you fix something that is broken.

As I posted early in the week. The Doctors found a Limp in my breast. Well today I went back to the doctor's office to get my results. Thank God it was just a cyst. I have been so scared about all this. John has been away for almost a year and going through this by myself. It has been hard being alone. I believe I now understand what a woman feels like when she is told she may have Cancer. My heart goes out to the women of the world who has and is going through this . It can really open your eyes to whats important. Thank you everyone for your prayers. Please continue to pray for those who are suffering with Cancer. Every prayer counts.